Moments of Hope
by HopeCrowe
Summary: Owen/Cristina scenes all post 5.19 Elevator Love Letter. To clarify: these are just a random collection of baby fics that are not necessarily chronological! Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy isn't mine but I wish Owen Hunt was .
1. Ceiling Fans and Dresses

**These are just some scenes I've been kicking around in my head since the last episode (which was amazing!)...some were inspired by ramblings with my friends at the ABC messageboards or at TWoP! Enjoy....**

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Owen flipped through his charts with a tired sigh. It had only been a few days, but this therapy was draining him more than he expected, especially on top of his normally packed schedule. However Dr. Wyatt insisted that they were making some headway (once Owen had finally started talking) and he was having less nightmares…at least ones that he remembered waking up from. It was worth it. If not for himself, for Cristina—wait no, Dr. Wyatt said he had to want this for _himself _too. She would feel safe in his arms again if it took him three weeks or thirty years to get better. He would stay away until he was absolutely sure that she would never need to be afraid again. Who knew how long that would take though? He just wasn't sure if she would be waiting for him once he was whole. The thought made his stomach drop.

He felt Derek Shepherd at his side with a chart of his own.

"Derek" he acknowledged, still drowning a bit in his own thoughts.

"Owen" he replied, signing viciously at some papers. Owen opened his mouth to make small talk when out of the corner of his eye he saw Cristina in a room with a patient. She was with two of her interns giving pre-op information. He couldn't help but stare. He had managed to avoid her since she had ended it—it was just much too painful to see her and not be able to hold her. At that moment, it seemed absolutely ridiculous to him that he had ever done anything but hold her when he had the chance. Now who knew when he would be able to touch her face, or play with her curls, or hear her gasp as he stroked her thigh. He felt a lump growing in his throat and coughed to clear it.

"Hunt, did you hear—" Derek had been talking, but apparently to himself. He followed Owen's line of sight and nodded to himself.

"What? Oh…I was…" Owen shook his head slightly and forcefully tore his eyes away from Cristina.

"You know…I probably shouldn't tell you this, but you need something to keep you going. Even though if my fiancée found out she would probably hurt me"

"Yeah, I don't think I've gotten off to a good start with her…" Owen added, halfway between amused and dejected.

"She's just protective…especially of Cristina. That's her 'Person'…neither one thinks anyone is good enough for the other. So the sooner you stop trying to get the other to accept you, the better. Cristina's hated me forever"

"Right…" was all Owen managed.

"Anyway, the thing is that Meredith says Cristina cried all night after she broke up with you"

"And…this is supposed to make me feel better?" Owen asked, confused. Knowing he had caused her so much emotional stress on top of the physical bruises just made it all worse.

"I'm sure you know this. Cristina is not like most women—" Owen scoffed and smiled despite himself. Truer words never spoken. "She doesn't cry…" Owen's brow furrowed. Derek gave him a pat on the shoulder and walked off. Owen was a mix of touched but mostly anguished at the thought of Cristina crying over him all night, but while he knew Cristina was tough, he had seen her with tears in her eyes several times. When she mentioned her father to him, when she stormed out of the gallery after losing her solo surgery, when he had asked her to see him, and then when they had broken up. He had never seen her so lost or scared. It made him want to kick himself that he was the cause, but Dr. Wyatt told him the past was where it was and he shouldn't feel guilt over something he couldn't possibly control. Easier said than done.

*******

"Oooh, Mer I really like that one" Izzie said gleefully clapping her hands, as Mer spun around in a lacey cream colored dress. Cristina rolled her eyes from the chair near Izzie's bed, but couldn't help but be lightened to see her so happy. She had to admit it was a great idea, doing the wedding planning in Izzie's room. It was easy since they were all at the hospital all the time anyway, but it also happened to be that Izzie was the lover of all things wedding. And with so much time on her hands, she was the perfect wedding planner. Meredith had tried on her fourth wedding dress, and so far Izzie had squealed with joy at each.

"Cristina, you try one!" Izzie prompted, pointing to another dress on the rack. "That one will look so great on you…" Cristina's eyes grew wide and she looked at Izzie incredulously.

"Um…Izz" Mer said awkwardly, her eyes flitting to Cristina nervously.

"In case you don't remember, I did the whole try-on-crappy-white-lace-dresses-endlessly thing last year" Cristina said sardonically.

"I…I didn't think about that" Izzie said, biting her lip. "Sorry…"

Suddenly the image of Owen that she had been trying to hold off with all this wedding talk, forced itself into her head. Her eyes glazed over as she looked at the hanging dresses …she pictured herself outside…leaves turning yellow and gold…a loose silky white dress flowing in the breeze…Owen standing across from her in a black tuxedo…smiling at her…the shadow permanently lifted from his eyes…him promising her 40 years and beyond. Cristina realized that she had stood up and was fingering the material of the dresses. Slowly drifting back into reality from her reverie, she realized that the room had grown silent.

"This one feels nice…" she said quietly. She heard Meredith gulp audibly and could feel her and Izzie exchanging a look. "I'll be back in a minute". A moment later, Cristina emerged in the flowing white dress. It draped itself comfortably around her…and she felt…relieved. She was standing in a wedding dress…smiling…she had gotten over the traumatic incident of her own past, by daydreaming about Owen. He made her _want _the dress, not just think she did. Izzie's gasp was sharp.

"_Cristina_" she said, breathlessly. "I…I think you should wear that to your wedding…whenever that is"

"_If_ that is" Cristina might have been daydreaming on the inside, but she refused to let anyone else in on it.

"Are you freaking out?" Meredith asked warily, her eyes drilling holes into her.

"No" Cristina said quietly.

"Oh, I've book marked some cakes you should look at, Mer" Izzie said, pulling out a wedding book from her table. Mer went and sat on the bed with Izzie. Cristina turned and looked in the mirror by the door. Just as she let herself fade into another lovely daydream, Owen walked by the room. He peaked in as he passed but then did a double-take that almost broke his neck. He was sure he had to be hallucinating to see Cristina in a wedding dress…but there she was. Staring at herself in a mirror…in a flowing white dress. He felt a sudden determination—he was going to fix himself. Get whole. Get healed. Get Cristina in a dress like that and marry her. In Autumn…when the leaving were changing, maybe. Step one was already in action. He caught his breath and moved on before she could see him watching.

Cristina peeked outside the door to make sure no one was watching—she saw a swish of a white coat and navy blue scrubs turn the corner, she wasn't sure if she had imagined the red hair or not—before going back to the mirror and allowing herself one swish of the skirt before going to change.

*******

Owen was walking down the hallway towards an on-call room to try and get a few hours of sleep, when he felt a softness on his hand and saw Cristina walking in stride with him. She didn't look at him, but put her hand in his and lightly pushed him into the on-call room and closed it behind her.

"Cristina…I…we can't"

"Just shhh…just shut up for minute. I have to say something" she said, staring at the ground with her hand still resting on the knob of the door. Owen began to protest, but thought better of it—he knew enough that when Cristina wanted to say something, she said it. She sighed and looked at him. "I spent all night staring at my ceiling fan last night…" Owen felt the weight of guilt in his stomach. He had made her feel unsafe in her own bed…even when he wasn't there?

"I'm sorry…" was all he managed. She looked puzzled and slightly worried at his words.

"No, no...that's not what…" she sighed again. "I mean that…the other night I woke up and my cardio surgery video was still playing. Then last night I just stared at my fan…" she glanced at Owen who looked confused as ever. "Dammit…I'm saying that I miss you. I don't like that you aren't there to turn the TV off…or that it hurts me that the only time I can fall asleep is when I'm on your pillow because it has your scent…and that all I can do now is stare at the ceiling fan at night hoping it will help me doze off so I can stop thinking about you". Owen wanted to run to her, hold her, tell her that they could be together, he would never hurt her, and kiss her breathless. But he stayed strong…he had seen her in a wedding dress. This separation was a necessary evil. First, get whole and healed…then get Cristina. You couldn't skip steps with these things. But hearing her tell him how hurt she was whittled away at his resolve.

"Cristina" he said weakly. "We can't…not yet"

"I know I just…I don't care if we can never sleep in the same bed together. I don't care if I have to sleep on the couch or if I have to handcuff you to the bed…" they both allowed themselves a small, heated smirk at this "or whatever. I don't want to stay away from you, but I will…because I want you to be healthy. And when you are…I'll be waiting for you" she stepped closer to him, putting a hand on his cheek and kissing his lips very lightly "because you're _it_ for me". With that, Cristina turned and left the room, leaving Owen with a heart full of hope and more resolve than ever.


	2. Cristina's Ring

**This is short and vaguely ridiculous (I don't know, maybe not?)...it was just a bit of a daydream I had in an excruciatingly boring lecture that I had yesterday. Enjoy! (In case you haven't noticed...this is where I post my pointless fluff...we can all use some after the Angsty Month Hiatus of Doom!).**

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Owen walked into the room to find Cristina enraptured in one of her favorite cardio surgeries. She was lying back on a pillow with a bowl of popcorn in her lap. Her eyes tore away from the television and looked at him with a small smile.

"Hey" she said warmly, throwing a piece of popcorn up into her mouth.

"Hi" he said, cocking his head to the side, just taking her in. This was about to be a big moment and he wanted to soak her in for a second. Her brow furrowed and he walked over, plopping himself on the left side of the bed. It had been a year, to the day, since he had met her. He had fixed himself, enough that he was no longer a physical threat but he knew the shadow of his experience in Iraq would never fully go away. But Dr. Wyatt, with whom he still met with once a week, said that was only normal. Our experiences shape who we are, but he could experience the pain knowing that he could get through it. He had healthy sleeping patterns, he had closure…now he needed Cristina.

Cristina had stuck through it with him. Through everything, she was amazing and lying next to him with her curls sprawled out on the pillow, just how he loved them.

"How was work?" she asked, turning on her side and stroking his shoulders. Owen managed to shrug while on the bed. His anxiety and nerves were growing. He looked her deeply in the eyes.

"I love you" he said, simply. And he kissed her lightly, getting some amusement from her smirk and her raised eyebrow.

"That's not what I asked" she said playfully.

"But it's what I'm telling you. I love you and…" he took a deep breath to steady himself "I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much." With that Owen sat up and pulled out a long slender velvet box from his pocket. Cristina jolted to an upright position and her perplexed expression deepened as she noted the size of the box. It was long and slender, not a small square.

Owen opened the box and placed it in her hand. Cristina gasped and couldn't help but let out a laugh of joy. Inside was a brilliantly shiny platinum scalpel with the words "I will always love you. Will you marry me?" engraved on them. She laughed while tears spilled out of her eyes. She lightly picked up the scalpel and underneath was a small note that read "I will be prying this out of your hands in approximately 40 years".

Cristina threw the scalpel back into the box and then flung herself onto Owen, laughing and crying and kissing him while emitting the word "yes" as often as possible. He had proposed to her with a scalpel…she would have said yes to a ring too, but she would _shout _yes to a scalpel. She was confident about this because Owen knew her. So well that it was almost scary.

"You proposed to me with a scalpel!" she couldn't help but cry joyously.

"Do you want a diamond too?" Owen asked quietly.

"Hell no" Cristina said sharply. "This is perfect…my two loves combined. I don't really care for rings"

"I knew I had to have you exactly a year ago today…and when I saw you in that wedding dress, I knew how I was going to do it"

"Wedding dress…you mean before Meredith's wedding? In Izzie's room?"

"Yes and yes" Owen smirked. "You looked so beautiful…I knew right then that I wanted to marry you…in that dress…in the Fall" Cristina froze.

"You want a Fall wedding? You pictured a Fall wedding?" Cristina sounded incredulous.

"Um…yes. I mean, I'm flexible obviously, but that's what I pictured" Owen looked somewhat wary. "Is something wrong?"

"No…sometimes it just amazes me how right it is" she said, kissing him again. "When I put that dress on…I had a bit of a daydream too…and it was a Fall wedding." Cristina picked up the scalpel and stroked the words and reveled in the shine.

"I did good?" Owen asked playing with one of her curls as she stared at the scalpel.

"You did" she said, again placing the scalpel back in the box and shutting it this time.

"Good" Owen said, grabbing her and flipping her over and underneath him. "Then I think I deserve a little preview of the wedding night, don't you?" Cristina laughed before answering him quite adequately without words.


	3. The Wedding Date

**So I realize that this bit is so dated, but I randomly found it on my computer when I was cleaning stuff out. It is kinda fluffy and I didn't spend all that much time on it. But if one person gets joy out of this little bit effort it takes to publish it, it was worth it! :P Enjoy!**

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"Meredith, you crossed out half the people on this list" Derek said, exasperated. They were sitting at the kitchen table working on wedding plans, as usual, and Meredith just quirked at eyebrow at his response.

"I just don't know why you feel the need to invite your second cousins once removed when we _both _said we wanted a small wedding" she said, taking a sip of her coffee. Derek couldn't help but smile at her, and perused her revised list. Maybe she had a point. He was so worried about not offending any of his family that he was neglecting the what they both had agreed they wanted. He really should be focusing on the two of them. It was their day, after all. His eyes fell to a conspicuous cross-out and he raised his eyebrows.

"You crossed out Owen's name" Derek observed with interest, propping his head on his arm that rested on the table.

"I did" Meredith confirmed, a sudden wave of coldness replacing the warm look that had been on her face a few seconds earlier

"Meredith…" he started. "You know he wasn't awa—"

"Derek, I love you. But don't push this, please. I know you've been working with him and getting beers together sometimes but…but I don't want him there"

"So you're afraid he's going to fall asleep during the ceremony and hurt someone?" Derek asked sarcastically. Meredith flashed him a look that told him she didn't find him very funny at the moment.

" It will just upset Cristina"

"I don't think Cristina's going to be upset to see him…" Derek said, turning to look back at the list. From what he had seen, if anything Cristina missed Owen desperately. He had recently discovered that he had a new level of perception that he had for Cristina's moods after spending so much time near her because of Meredith.

"Fine. It's not her. _ I_ will be upset to see him because of her. I don't mind them seeing each other at the hospital now and then, but not at the wedding. People get all hopped up on romance at weddings and I'm afraid they might…do something rash." Meredith shook her head and looked back at Derek. "Whatever, I don't want him there" she said more defiantly.. Derek cocked his head to the side and observed her as he did sometimes. He admired her loyalty to Cristina, to all her friends really, but especially her. A large part of him felt bad for Owen, having Meredith watching him like a hawk on top of the rest of his problems, but he could tell there was no negotiating this point with Meredith. So finally after sighing in resignation, he nodded and continued scanning the list.

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Cristina stared at the invitation Meredith had just placed in her hand before running out to deliver more.

"You and a guest are cordially invited to the wedding of Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd" it told her. Cristina sighed. As much as she loved Meredith, this wedding was going to be torture. Not only was it a _wedding _which she now basically hated on principle, but the Shepherd clan would be fawning all over their beautiful brain surgeon in a tuxedo. Cristina already found herself rolling her eyes at the idea. And if she knew Meredith, which she did, Owen would not be invited. That just made matters worse in that there wouldn't even be the hope of seeing him in a tuxedo. This event had too many negatives working against only a couple positives.

She and Owen had been emailing over the past few weeks. So she knew he was getting help for his PTSD and that he had been struggling with it all. On his own. She couldn't help but still feel guilty for leaving him during his toughest time. But she wasn't even sure what was better for him anymore. For them. She really felt like she didn't know what way was up anymore. Cristina hated that he had the ability to make her lose her mind…and yet it was that very same feeling that made her want to chase him down and tell him that she didn't care what problems he had, she'd be there for him every day to help him so long as it meant they didn't have to be apart anymore.

Cristina re-read the invitation and felt her stomach tie itself in a knot. She knew there was only one way to save this event. And her sanity.

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"Dr. Hunt" Cristina cleared her throat as she saw him working on a chart by the nurse's station. He looked up at her with softened eyes and a hint of a smile.

"Dr. Yang" he replied, closing his chart. They looked at each other for a moment and Cristina felt heat rising in her body as she got lost in soaking in just how good he looked in his navy blue scrubs and at the fact that she knew she was the only person in the hospital that knew what he was hiding underneath them. She shook herself to help refocus on her plan.

"Could I…have a quick consult? You know…talk to you for a moment?" she said, her eyes flickering to the on-call room. Owen smirked and raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Um, _talk _talk" she clarified.

"Of course" once they had walked over to the door, he motioned for her to go first and he closed the it behind them. "Is everything okay?" he started, his eyes filling with concern.

"Yes, fine" she said quickly. "I mean…not fineactually." She looked up at him and felt a pang in her chest. "I miss you." Owen let out a rough sigh and hung his head.

"I miss you too" he said, touching her cheek. "I'm sorry…"

"You don't have to apologize…I just…" Cristina said, shaking her head and looking down. "That's not what…I had a... I wanted to ask you for a favor."

"Anything" Owen said quickly, letting his hand drop. Cristina took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes.

"Would you be my date to Meredith's wedding?" Owen smiled at first, but then it wavered.

"I think she didn't invite me for a reason…I don't want to upset her on her wedding day" he said quietly, an apologetic look in his eyes again.

"Don't worry about Meredith. She's just being over-protective and nosy" Cristina said, waving her hand carelessly. "She wants me to be happy. And…I guess what she just doesn't realize is that…_you_ make me most happy." Owen could not suppress his smile at her words and his eyes dropped to look at her lips as if he was using all his energy to not kiss her right then.

"You don't have to decide right away…" she said breathlessly, trying to think about anything but Owen's lips on hers to keep herself thinking straight and forming sensible sentences.

"I'll go" he said quickly, his eyes now roaming all over her face and hair. He was close enough that she could smell his aftershave and it reminded her of the last time they had been this close…the mixture of that with the warmth she could feel from his body was intoxicating.

"Okay, great…" she said, quickly. Her voice was hoarse and she cleared her throat. "I should…go back out there and…"

"Yeah…we should go…" Owen agreed, his voice deeper than usual. And yet he made no effort to move. Cristina's found that her hands had roamed to settling around his waist and she slowly retracted them. "I'll pick you up on Thursday…you can't exactly ride your bike in a dress."


End file.
